Beginnings and Ends

I got food poisoning on thursday night. I have about three guesses as to how it could have happened but in the end, it really doesn't matter, because for the next day I was utterly miserable and the following days were gradually less miserable. Yesterday was good though and today I'm about 95% better.

Today is sunny. It is crisp and beautiful and sunny. I met one of my friends at the bottom of my street and we walked to one of the toddler groups we frequent and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. The occasional cloud passed and there was a brief attempt at a shower, but it didn't last long.

I love autumn and it truly is my favourite season. September is consequently my favourite month. It a month of beginnings and because it was always the start of school, it's always been my 'new year'.

Funny how that hasn't changed much, even though the last time I sat in a classroom was in 2007. I still have moments where I wish I was back at school. I like being in that atmosphere, and I love learning. If I could, I would take classes at a university just for fun, for the wonder of it. Alas that's not in the cards.

Despite the gorgeous sunshine, the wind is bitterly cold today, almost hinting at possibly how cold it will be this winter. A high of 11 degrees C, but with the wind it's only 8. Brrr! I have two pairs of thin gloves I bought for £1. I'm ready to go. Just need a rain jacket and maybe another pair of warm boots and I'm set.

Sunshine and bitter cold. Seems like an apt metaphor for today.

It took me a bit to realize what day it was. That happens a lot for me sometimes; things just pass in a haze. But the world for many changed significantly today back in 2001, and I still remember vividly getting the call from a friend as I was getting ready in the early morning for school.

"Turn on your TV," his voice said urgently.

"What?"

"Just turn on your TV."

That was our conversation.

I turned on the TV in time to see the second plane hit in New York and I'm not even sure how long it took me to comprehend what exactly had just happened.

A daze.

So much was lost that day, but a lot was gained too. Years later there is still so much violence and hatred in the world, but I choose to also believe there is also a great deal of compassion and love and beauty.

Call me naive, or optimistic, but when I look at my nearly three year old daughter, I can't help but wish there to still be some innocence left for her, and that as she grows, she will be faced with the best and worst of life and be better for it, more honest and caring, more compassionate.

Pausing for a moment here today to say "I'm sorry" to those that lost something or someone 11 years ago, and to those so consumed by hate that any action is justified, I say, "I feel sorry for you."

Wishing all of us just a little bit more love and a little bit more hope as we go forward, day by day, year after year.