Thursday, September 13, 2012

Please Don't Tell Us We've Failed

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the folks at the Speech & Language Therapy Department.

I'm nervous to the point of being terrified.

Readers of my old blog may remember that baby girl's speech wasn't happening very quickly, and while things are a bit better before and she's progressed in some ways, there's been very little progress as far as actual discernable words. We're talking simple one-syllable words that kids use to develop sentences.

Her speech is all gobbeldy-gook most of the time, though we've figured out a few of her words and have also taught her that sheep go, "bahhhhh!" (She likes to imitate sheep).

The thing is that I want to say I'm not truly concerned for her, since I can see she is a happy and bright child. Except... the tantrums and hitting that had calmed down earlier have not only returned but have gotten worse! And it's all our of sheer frustration. Yes, some of it is the usual toddler scenario of not getting their own way, but the problem is she can't express what she wants in a straight-forward way. A grunt and pointing is often all we have to go on and it's hard to figure out which of the two dozen items in a cupboard she's actually pointing out. Our guesses are usually not bad, but this isn't working for her and it's certainly not working for us.

And she seems to think hitting (sometimes randomly) is funny. It's not funny, it hurts!

I'm worried.

Worse yet, I'm taking her to an appointment where my fear is that some person who can't possibly know all that we dealt with to conceive a healthy pregnancy, give birth and raise our child, is going to sit there and tell me we're not doing enough.

That we've failed her in some way.

Silly perhaps on the surface, but I've accepted that I am one of those moms who is okay with being 'good enough'. No super mom status for me. I giver her her basic needs, boundaries, discipline and more love than I ever could have imagined having for a child.

What else can they ask of me? Of us?

I just want her to be okay. We can tackle whatever we need to do to help her along, but it sure is going to be difficult to sit there, feeling like someone is analyzing my parenting skills.

I'm doing my best to take thing in stride and am hoping that they'll tell me she's fine and just give her time! That's not naive, is it?


  1. You are already a super-mom. It's because you are determined to do what's best for the child you wanted so badly. Don't beat yourself up, they don't come with an instruction manual. What were you supposed to do, make her flash cards? You have a bright, happy kid. Who knows what super powers she's been developing while her language takes a backseat. Maybe she's picking up keen observation skills that will make her an excellent physician, or learning how to read people that will make her an great counsellor one day. You are more than good enough and no one should tell you different!

  2. Know that we back you 100%. That with your love and support she can get through any of life's "bumps". Much luck and love for tomorrow, our thoughts are with you!

  3. I hope that the appointment goes well. Do not beat yourself up or feel down- you are doing your best and that's all that matters.

  4. It must be terrifying. I totally feel your anxiety.

    I am hoping the appointment will go well. That they would rather show pointers and ways of making her speech better rather than finding flaws in raising her.

    My best wishes are there with your girl.


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